test day

Today is test day for me.  I have knots in my stomach just thinking about them.  Normally I fear medical tests because of the needles involved and the inevitable fainting that will ensue.  Yes I faint when I get blood taken.  Every nurse seems convinced that the last nurse was just not a super star like she is and then I try to tell her no, it's not like that, it's just me.  Rarely do they listen and I usually get to hear "she's going down" when I do prove them wrong.

This time around I am less nervous about the actual physical aspects of the tests.  I am nervous because it is becoming real.  The past several months the focus medically has been on my Husband.  Now it's my turn.  Next week we sign the papers and then it will become even more real.

Thinking back to a year ago, I think I would have had trouble believing that this is the place we would be in now.  Right now the idea of a baby seems so foreign.  A couple of weeks ago I got to see my Husband hold a ten day old baby.  It was awesome and heart breaking at the same time.

One positive aspect to test day..  it gets us one day closer to consent day which gets us closer to IVF with ICSI day.  Test day isn't sounding so bad after-all.