Calmly Chaotic

It's March in Ottawa so I'm rolling my eyes at the fresh snow we woke up to this morning and shifting my focus to the months ahead.... what what we refer to as camping season. We've already endured booking season - when your alarm is set extra early, and your heart pounds as you wait f…

The sleepy haze that was the first week of January was more panic laced then hopeful. It was equal parts doing my best to temper down the pressure of what's next, and mourning the loss of what was. When a year comes to an end I've realized that, as a mother, I always follow a similar emoti…

Head's up || Sponsored by Samsung Home Appliances
Lately I've been feeling the speed of time. It's not something I want to feel - this race towards what's next, but often times it's hard not to feel it. Summer time was an immersive time - spending twenty five nights camped out a…

Benjamin was born eighteen minutes shy of his sisters birthday, six years later. It was Saturday evening. The house was quiet. Our cat Sonata paced below my fingertips, eager to see what all the fuss was about. Andrew was there, close enough for me to hear him repeat, "You've got this, yo…

How does it look to chase a creative dream in your 30s? I picture a home amongst trees, a studio with windows as walls, facing spring buds and possibilities. Sunlight warming fingertips that pour ideas swiftly out onto keyboards. An abundance of time to try and re-try and get it exactly right.

But…

"Mother nature doesn't want you to have children, and we need to make sure there isn't a reason why." 
I remember those words, delivered matter-factly in the warm room of the Ottawa Fertility Clinic almost 9 years ago. It was not a shock. Having spent countless hours lost to the …

When we bought this house 4 years ago, this room was a nursery, but it wouldn't be a nursery for us. No, we would use it as an office, a yoga room, an eventual bedroom when our twins decided they'd had enough of each other. Just thinking back to the first time we walked through this space, …

It's December 28th, I wrangled our twin girls into doing kundalini yoga with me this morning and I've had exactly three cups of coffee - so I'm feeling pretty wonderful and just inspired enough to publicly commit to bringing back my weekly essays - only this time, let's just call it "weekly-ish essays" (because I'm all about the low pressure these days). So here goes!

Every January, a pink and yellow bill arrives - the multi layered kind where you tear off your own receipt and put it in the box with the five others.

I hardly remember the first bill, I definitely don't recall the last two (since they never arrived), but I remember the middle years. The years…

Last Thursday I was seated, legs crossed in black leggings, on my comfortable yet hideous office chair. The door - closed.

For those of you that have seen pictures of my home office, you now know that I’ve been lying to you. For that, I do not apologize. I insist on maintaining the visual illusion…

This is the first personal essay that I'm sharing - focusing on a subject that you might just find yourself in - the issue of when you find yourself wanting a baby and how you got there...





We climb the berber carpeted stairs to the second level. I hate berber. It’s a flat, defeated type of car…

This fall, I have been committed to getting ready every morning.

Face washed, actual clothes on, hair presentable to the public, you know - getting ready as though I have somewhere to be - even when I don't.

Truth: My beauty idol at the moment is Gillian Jacobs (tell me you haven't noticed …