what makes me blush

I don't think I embarrass easily.

let's take nudity... now maybe I should blame being a mother... because I can tell you when I was younger and I was in a change room and someone was naked... that blush... it crept into my cheeks. Post Alice and Isla, post countless ultrasounds (not the nice belly kind), post twin vaginal delivery... yeah nudity... pleeease

next there's sex. nothing about sex embarrasses me, nope.. nothing

So there are two things that make me blush

getting in trouble and admitting that I really, truly want something

getting my hand slapped (metaphorically of course) is the lesser of the two evils. and believe me, I can count the times this has happened over the course of my thirty years on my two hands. I am not a rule breaker. I am a rule follower which may make me boring but it keeps that pink out of my cheeks.

admitting that I really, truly want something... bordering on bearing my soul... now that is what makes me blush.

that is why, last week, while I sat on the countertop in our upstairs main bathroom while Andrew gave Alice and Isla their bath, I felt the unfamiliar heat creep into my cheeks.

you see, I have been walking around this house for the past while not hiding a secret, not doing a good job at keeping what I want to myself, and definitely not voicing, out loud what I really want.

so Andrew, he knows me, he really knows me... so when he said, Ash, do you want to be an Author? I froze, I lost all coherent words and I blushed. Because hell yes I want to be an author. I just didn't want to admit it out loud, for anyone but me to hear.

So it's now out in the open and I am working at subduing this blush.


What makes you blush? and do you admit what you really actually want... who do you tell?


  1. Exciting!! It's amazing to have clarity about what you want. Good for you. Are you sure you don't want to be a recruiter (ha!).

  2. I hear ya. I totally go through this too, also struggling to figure out exactly what it is I want.

    Good for you for voicing those goals, you can do it!!

  3. I seriously like your honesty! Loving the blog.

  4. I have a feeling that you not getting embarrassed easily is going to embarrass Isla & Alice in a decade or so! haha

    I love the author comments. I have a similar desire, but it's one of those things I want to keep secret because I know the odds aren't good. My fiancé and sister know, but that's about it. We should meet up again soon to work on it though. Text me when you get the chance so we can make plans.

  5. After reading this, I randomly feel the need to say "go get 'em tiger!" I'm looking forward to see what the future has in store for you!

    Ps. Your girls are utterly adorable. I just had to get that in there.



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