a year ago

We've been working like dogs all weekend to get ready for the big first birthday party tomorrow.... yes the party that originally was going to be no fuss and which of course always is.  We have been baking, making pinwheels, putting together photo banners, cutting out one million decorations... yes that kind of weekend.  I am so excited for tomorrow.  Tomorrow is all about Isla and Alice... but I just sat down finally and realized that right now is about me and that I am going to take five minutes and think about me and what this year did for me.  When I think back to a year ago I get goose bumps because right now back then I was in labor, I was in the heat of it and I was so excited to meet these little ladies.  I can now say that I look back and I am so proud of myself, proud that I not only made it through this year but that I enjoyed much of each and every day that I've had with my daughters, that I have had a seemingly endless supply of energy and that these two little ladies seem smitten with me.  I have definitely never worked harder in one year than I have this past one but hardly any of it felt like work at all.  It's not work when it's your life and it's what you wanted for so long.  Yes there were nights that felt like years, feedings that would never end and one million firsts to get through and get over.  I do feel like I have given up parts of me in this constant race of a life this past year, and it will be an on going job for me to hang on to those parts and keep them going, but in exchange I've gotten everything.  So happy almost one year as a mother to me.